Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Book Review Tour: Phase One: Identify by Rose Wynters

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Phase One: Identify (Territory of the Dead Series) by Rose Wynters
Genres: Young Adult Romance, Horror, Zombies, Science Fiction
Series: Territory of the Dead
Blurb:
Eighteen-year-old Tabitha Alexander had just graduated from high school when the dead invaded her small town of Pleasant, Louisiana. Working as a checkout girl in the only grocery store in town, she barely made it out with her life.

But the night was only beginning.

What started out as a group of three grows, as they are joined by the few that are still alive. New bonds are formed as old ones die, and Tabitha suddenly finds that the guy she's always wanted might just want her back.

The timing couldn't be worse, though. The zombies in Pleasant are smart, with an awareness that's horrifying. And when the zombies discover the house full of survivors, those inside realize that the walls aren't strong enough to keep them out.

All hope is lost. Or is it? Salvation comes in the form of a mysterious man, with a pair of steely-gray eyes and an arsenal to match. He rescues them, but at what cost? Kellan can't seem to keep his otherworldly eyes off of her.

She's no match for him. She knows this. Yet, he intrigues her... and Tabitha knows it's the most dangerous reaction of all.

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Tour Promo: All books in this series are $.99!


Available free with Kindle Unlimited.


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review


*** 5/5 Stars ***


As any readers of our blog knows, I am a horror/zombie book lover. I'm a little hesitant with serial stories as I've started some the author never finishes, or feel like the book is simply too short. Not in this case! This was a nice and full start off to the story. It ends on a cliff hanger of course, but I felt the author did a great job of setting up the characters, their woes and life and deaths, and the progression of the story. A very good young adult zombie story, this should entertain the younger set that likes a bit of zombie groaning and gnawing with their teen angst.


The story flows through a regular day of Tabitha at work, to fighting the undead, to being holed up with her family and her life long crush. Many action packed, wincing moments leading to their escape from the home, mystery of how it all started, ends up with Tabitha's group suddenly with new folks. Foe? Friend? Who knows? Looking forward to finding out in the same book!


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excerpt


I exhaled deeply as I finished scanning the last coupon. The woman gave me a sharp look of annoyance, as if I had no room for complaint. Really, what did she expect? Was I supposed to grovel and thank her for allowing me the honor of scanning her precious coupons ten minutes before closing time?


Apparently so. “You know, young lady, it wouldn't hurt you to smile at your customers and thank them when they offer you their coupons. I don't think I've ever had such poor customer service. I don't have to shop here, especially with this kind of attitude.” She was working herself up into a rage, her expression full of self-righteous indignation.


I didn't reply, but instead pushed the total button. Some of the customers in line groaned, while others shifted in impatience. They really didn't want to be further delayed by her rant. She slammed a hundred dollar bill down on the counter. “Where is your manager? I want to speak with him now.”


I pointed towards Jim, as he straightened his shoulders and attempted to look professional. I could only imagine the holier-than-thou attitude he would have as he sympathetically agreed with her. Around here, I could never do anything right, or so it seemed.


I didn't see anyone else standing around, though, willing to put up with his crap. If I didn't need the money so badly, I'd walk out the door faster than he could blink. I was tired of the humiliation and tired of being blamed for the lines, just because he was too tight to hire on adequate staff.


I was silent as I quickly made her change. What could any person say? She was mad due to reasons of her own, something that really didn't concern me. With one last glare, she huffed and moved on in his direction. She never made it, though.


It would have been worth the complaint and subsequent chewing out I would have received, if the events of the night just wouldn't have happened. I would later look back on it and pray that things had ended differently. You can't change events that are completely out of your control, though.


Even so, anything would have been preferable to that one moment when you find your reality has just been blown to pieces and would never be the same again. That's assuming you live to survive it.


She was halfway to Jim, her teased hairdo bouncing, when it happened. A loud, panicked scream tore through the night, originating somewhere from the parking lot in front of the store. Even through the thick glass, we could hear it loudly. It sounded like someone was being murdered. I immediately stopped scanning, turning in an attempt to see what was happening.


A body slammed against the glass, his face and palms pressed to the surface. It was a horrid sight. His pupils were red and crazed, his face extremely pale and dirty. Dark red blood was smeared across his cheeks and chin. The man stood still for a moment, just watching us with his crazy eyes. Something reanimated him. He slid his palms down the clear, clean glass, leaving a trail of bloody streaks.


author




Rose Wynters resides in the southern portion of the USA. When not writing, she enjoys traveling, camping, and meeting new people.


Connect With The Author:


Website http://www.rosewynters.com/


Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Rose-Wynters/121652694703696


Twitter https://twitter.com/author_rose



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Monday, November 24, 2014

Book Tour Review & Giveaway: A Cat Taught Me That – Life’s Lessons From Felines by Charlotte Gerber

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Virtual Book Tour Dates: 10/27/14 – 11/24/14


Genres: Memoir, Humor


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A Cat Taught Me That Cover


 
Blurb:

Catnap often. Don’t be a stalker unless food is involved. Despite the rumor, it is okay to be curious! A Cat Taught Me That is filled with humorous advice and the wisdom of elder cats that includes information on how to get more out of life, and how to avoid common pitfalls along the way. Cat lovers will enjoy the adorable photographs and cute illustrations throughout.

Celebrity cat ‘Awesome Louie’ provides insight with his gritty cat interviews, as well as sage advice with his “Mewsings” column. Short essays from the cat-lady author will bring smiles to the faces of readers who have learned that “Not All That Glitters is Gold” and “To Be Kissed By a Cat” can have unintended consequences.

 review*** 5 Stars (Meows) ***


Not to accuse the famous "Awesome Louie", but I'm pretty sure he's been secretly training our fat kitty. Snickerdoodle is 8 years old and has perfected the Louie advised ways of getting kitty treats.


This book was a fun, fresh, quick read. Being a slightly obsessed cat person (at least compulsively sharing kitty pictures on Facebook, if that counts) I was ready to like this book. It didn't prove me wrong and tickled my cat loving funny bone. It's hard not to read the tidbits of catastic advice in a specialized cat voice in your head either- if you have pet cats you'll understand what I'm saying.


Need a good reading break? Pick up this little gem and have it brighten your day in a whisker-lickin' way. :)


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excerpt

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“A Little Indulgence is Okay”


I’m Louie and I’ve been told I have a problem with cat treats. Of course, a problem is in the eye of the beholder. In my eyes, loving cat treats isn’t a problem unless I run out of them.

After I was rescued, I learned three things about my caregiver and new best friend. First, food was readily available day or night; I would never be hungry again. Second, I was now living in a house that was warm and cozy; freezing outside in the winter was highly unlikely. Third, I learned about this tasty food called “snacks”. I would come to love it when my caregiver announced the magical words with enthusiasm – “Kitty treats!”

When I was first introduced to this fabulous dining experience, the flavors included turkey, beef and chicken. Eventually catnip and dairy-flavored treats entered the scene. Once I tasted those little nuggets of goodness, I was hooked.

I perfected the sad kitty face, which is subtle and very effective when done properly. The trick is to look longingly at your target and try not to blink. Raise a paw in a slightly pathetic manner towards the treat container as the caregiver opens it – a classic move.

While my owner swears that she may check me into a clinic for cats with food addictions, she is more purr than hiss. I know that the next time she comes home from the pet store with kitty snacks, she’ll rattle the bag because she knows I’m listening. I’ll come racing into the kitchen like a furry, 16 pound bowling ball on steroids, and she’ll love me for it. And give me treats.

Take it from me, you can never be too furry or have too many treats!

 

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What's the best part of being a kitty?


(According to Awesome Louie)


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Being loved is the best part of being a kitty, at least in my humble opinion.  My favorite thing to do each day is to be held in a rocking chair.  I lie on my back with my paws up in the air and totally relax.  My human caregiver gives me tummy rubs and massages my cheeks and shoulders.  All my cares simply melt away, and I purr until I fall asleep.

Things were not always this great, so I know what it is like to be unloved and alone in the world.  Before my current caregiver took me in, I was living outside and almost froze to death last winter.  Part of my tail was frostbitten and it fell off, not to mention I had lost so much weight my head looked like it was too big for my body.  Thank goodness for canned cat food and cat treats or I would not be the awesome 16 pound kitty that you see today.

It took about six months to recover, but I was loved back to good health.  Every kitty should be so lucky to be loved and cared for!

 

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 author

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Charlotte Gerber began her writing career penning content articles on the Internet. Her articles have appeared on LoveToKnow.com and the New York Times/About.com Disability site, as well as numerous other outlets. She is also the author of Murder in Middleton and I Dream of Zombies (Rose Lee’s Zombie Adventures series).

Charlotte lives in upstate New York with her husband Gregg, two teenage children, one dog and ten rescued cats. She is a disability advocate and a supporter of animal rescue missions.

 

Connect With the Author:

Website

Twitter

 

giveaway

win this on the a cat taught me that tour


 

2 winners: Each will receive 1 stainless steel tumbler mug, a signed copy of A Cat Taught Me That, and mystery swag items. Open to readers located in the USA, UK, or Australia. The giveaway will run 10/27/14 – 11/24/14. Enter through Rafflecopter.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Review: The Diary of Edward the Hamster 1990–1990 by by Miriam Elia and Ezra Elia

review

Edward the Hamster is a furry ball of angst, trapped in his prison, but determined to live his life. Darn it. Edward the Hamster is a quick but hilarious read of the daily adventures, not so adventures, romance, and observations of Edward.
Throughout the illustrated diary entries, Edward contemplates the meaning of death and life, and why his captors are so odd. Fun book for anyone who’s ever owned a furry little hamster and wondered went on in their little minds and souls.

I received a copy of this novel from PENGUIN GROUP Blue Rider Press via NetGalley.com in return for an honest review.



heather

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